Who doesn’t long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I’m on my own
If there’s a soulmate for everyone
Oh man…so I have this sneaking suspicion in life that I am the Diane Lane character. The attractive, independent, intelligent, witty, funny woman for whatever reason is ALONE! She usually gets the guy in the end. So if that’s the role I must play I will take it. I will fall madly in love with a man with a dog who at first I can’t stand. Hopefully he looks like John Cusack. I will totally be Unfaithful and fall in love with sexy sex on fire exotic shy smart man. I will totally spend a night in Rodanthe. Of course 2 out of 3 of these movies end in death! Like seriously, I thought “Must Love Dogs” was a rom-com?!
Guess I was wrong.And funnily enough the very first music video that came on VH1 Jump Start was a song called “Soulmate” by Natasha Bedingfield. It was pretty darn cute. The above lyrics made me smile. And so in the video they show all these happy lovely dovey couples kissing all flippin’ sexy style and so Natasha is singing her heart out about why is she alone when there are so many people and then she steps out into the light in her pretty dress and she looks up and smiles. At this point I notice, oddly, that there are a lot of dark costumed extras in the background. Hmm…and then there is white ladder. She steps forward, touches her fingertips to ladder and is about to climb. Blurry fade. End of video. SHE DIES?!?!?!?!?! Are you KIDDING me?! Okay so apparently I’m gonna die before I find love. Or the love of my life is gonna die.
Either way that doesn’t bode well.
I jest of course.
This morning (PS-Lunesta is NO match for my insomnia. I woke up 3 hours later!) my Pop was brewing coffee so thought I’d get me a little cup. And I notice he’s pouring two cups. And immediately I go “Awe!” Cause yeah, that’s just cute. But then I think, but is mom still in bed? Cause the lights are all out. And so he sneaks back into the room and says “Joe, its almost five, your alarm didn’t go off.” As I’m walking by to the back room I glance in and poor ma is all in her pj’s headed to the bathroom. And it just made me smile that my Pop had her very black hot coffee at the ready to help her catch up on her day. It was pretty much the cutest thing ever.
Except for that one time when they were fighting over pillows in bed. Cause they each have 3 huge-normous pillows. Except my Mom has one extra she sneaks by. And I guess my Pop stole it and they were playfully arguing. “No, we both have three pillows. Give me my fourth one back!” haha…Yeah, so the bar is set really high. I’ve grown up with two amazing parents. I know what true love looks like. Works like. Its cute and funny and flippin’ rockawesome.
So yeah…I might have high expectations or whatever but if I ever do find it I kinda hope I don’t die before it starts to get really good. Haha…kidding…I think.
~hm~
Showing posts with label lust. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lust. Show all posts
Friday, February 20, 2009
Monday, February 16, 2009
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Playground Antics
There was once a girl. She was always a bit in love with the idea of love. Being the lovely little awkward thing that she was growing up, she didn't have the opportunity to really cultivate any pre-teen early life romances. She very specifically remembers a time in fourth grade when all the boys decided to chase the girls and smack them on the butt. This apparently sounded fun at the time and so off the girls ran to the side field and off the boys ran chasing after them. She remembers seeing all the boys chase after the popular girl and the second tier popular girls by association. She knew in her mind that even though she hung out with everyone in class and that she was generally liked by all, her glasses, knobby knees and general little girl awkwardness would prevent her from getting lots of smacks on the butt. But then her sorta friend and friend of the popular group, a soccer player and nice guy came up and smacked her on the bottom. She laughed and went screaming off on the sunny playground. Happy to feel included. In her 9 year old mind she knew that it was a pity butt smack but appreciated none the less.
One day the girl grew up. She got braces, contacts and by the middle of her college years at the very fun age of 21 she finally felt like she grew into her features. By the time she turned 24 she felt beautiful. She loved every aspect of her body, she felt very proud of her hips, her lips, her imperfections, her quirks. When she looked in the mirror on a sometimes rare day of extraordinary self awareness she felt alive, connected and gorgeous. She felt like she had a secret waiting to tell the world. Like a laugh was right under the surface waiting to come out. There was a light in her eyes and smile tickling her lips. Today was indeed a glorious and gorgeous day.
Maybe today was the day that a nice young guy would notice her. Notice that want and need to be included. To get a pity smack on the butt cause it was the nice thing to do. Cause it was appreciated, because why the hell not, she does after all have a very nice ass. Maybe today is the day that the guy she likes, that she shyly smiles at will notice her and smile back.
But, if not. That's okay. Its an attention that she doesn't need and if we're being really honest here is kinda scary. She has come this far without the very well placed and intended smack on the butt from the boys on the playground. Shes happy just swinging on the swings with them, discussing her answer for the science question that gave her trouble, holding a door open for them, letting them have an occasion short cut in line to make one feel special. She happy being a friend. Its easy. Its comfortable. Its what she knows.
Maybe one day one of the boys will break away from the pack, from the marauding herds of boys on the playground. He will take a chance and single her out. He will come across the sandy playground, smile at her and she will smile back. And right when she is about to introduce herself he will very deliberately smack her firmly on the ass and run away waiting to be chased by her.
~hm~
There was once a girl. She was always a bit in love with the idea of love. Being the lovely little awkward thing that she was growing up, she didn't have the opportunity to really cultivate any pre-teen early life romances. She very specifically remembers a time in fourth grade when all the boys decided to chase the girls and smack them on the butt. This apparently sounded fun at the time and so off the girls ran to the side field and off the boys ran chasing after them. She remembers seeing all the boys chase after the popular girl and the second tier popular girls by association. She knew in her mind that even though she hung out with everyone in class and that she was generally liked by all, her glasses, knobby knees and general little girl awkwardness would prevent her from getting lots of smacks on the butt. But then her sorta friend and friend of the popular group, a soccer player and nice guy came up and smacked her on the bottom. She laughed and went screaming off on the sunny playground. Happy to feel included. In her 9 year old mind she knew that it was a pity butt smack but appreciated none the less.
One day the girl grew up. She got braces, contacts and by the middle of her college years at the very fun age of 21 she finally felt like she grew into her features. By the time she turned 24 she felt beautiful. She loved every aspect of her body, she felt very proud of her hips, her lips, her imperfections, her quirks. When she looked in the mirror on a sometimes rare day of extraordinary self awareness she felt alive, connected and gorgeous. She felt like she had a secret waiting to tell the world. Like a laugh was right under the surface waiting to come out. There was a light in her eyes and smile tickling her lips. Today was indeed a glorious and gorgeous day.
Maybe today was the day that a nice young guy would notice her. Notice that want and need to be included. To get a pity smack on the butt cause it was the nice thing to do. Cause it was appreciated, because why the hell not, she does after all have a very nice ass. Maybe today is the day that the guy she likes, that she shyly smiles at will notice her and smile back.
But, if not. That's okay. Its an attention that she doesn't need and if we're being really honest here is kinda scary. She has come this far without the very well placed and intended smack on the butt from the boys on the playground. Shes happy just swinging on the swings with them, discussing her answer for the science question that gave her trouble, holding a door open for them, letting them have an occasion short cut in line to make one feel special. She happy being a friend. Its easy. Its comfortable. Its what she knows.
Maybe one day one of the boys will break away from the pack, from the marauding herds of boys on the playground. He will take a chance and single her out. He will come across the sandy playground, smile at her and she will smile back. And right when she is about to introduce herself he will very deliberately smack her firmly on the ass and run away waiting to be chased by her.
~hm~
Saturday, February 2, 2008
Flirtation..Revisited.
About 6 seconds ago I deleted all of my previous posts. I realized that commenting on another friends blog would inevitably lead others to my blog and my seriously silly ramblings. And believe me, they were seriously silly. Mostly about boys. Boys of summer. Boys of fall. Boy oh boy. And bleh blah. I figure it’s a new month and a clean slate as they say. Which ironically, is the month of February. Go figure.
So here we are ol’ friend. I have a clean page open and the keyboard and world is mine to observe and type. I have been in serious Sex and the City Marathon Mood. So feeling a bit Carrie Bradshaw at the moment. What an amazingly awesome show it is. A bit cheese and some very bad song and costume choices, but those were very far and few between. I got through all of Season 3 and about two episodes away from completing Season 4. And sadly that is where it ends. My sisters’ collection that is. Le sigh…
And what an amazing span of two seasons to watch in 3 days. They are the “Aiden Episodes” as I like to call them. That oh so perfectly perfect guy that gets his heart broken by Carrie. I seriously just heart that character so. Although you can’t blame a girl for being scared of the big to-do. He really is just so incredibly charming, rugged and sexy. Double Le sigh…
And then the season ends with the oh so great episode with Big leaving and the “Moon River” song and the goodbye ol’ New York.
It really is funny how nostalgic I’ve become for New York lately. It really makes absolutely no sense, for seriously. I visited the place twice and kind of didn’t like it at all. I guess being in the City like straight off Time Square in a shifty hotel doesn’t show it off in its best light but I don’t know… Lately, I just think maybe I should give it a second look. Because as I watch the love Carrie has for her City, and when I sit at my sisters’ computer at 8am watching the Today Show sipping coffee out of my moms I <3 NY mug, I can’t help but think, wow I want to be there. And as I sip hazelnut coffee out of my mug on Sunday morning watching the morning show, reading the Sunday New York Times, I feel connected to something greater than me.
And although I’m having a revisited flirtation with New York at the moment, I’m waiting to give my heart to London. Because even though I’ve seen pictures and movies and read about you in books, I just really can’t wait to see you for myself. I think it really might be love.
~hm~
About 6 seconds ago I deleted all of my previous posts. I realized that commenting on another friends blog would inevitably lead others to my blog and my seriously silly ramblings. And believe me, they were seriously silly. Mostly about boys. Boys of summer. Boys of fall. Boy oh boy. And bleh blah. I figure it’s a new month and a clean slate as they say. Which ironically, is the month of February. Go figure.
So here we are ol’ friend. I have a clean page open and the keyboard and world is mine to observe and type. I have been in serious Sex and the City Marathon Mood. So feeling a bit Carrie Bradshaw at the moment. What an amazingly awesome show it is. A bit cheese and some very bad song and costume choices, but those were very far and few between. I got through all of Season 3 and about two episodes away from completing Season 4. And sadly that is where it ends. My sisters’ collection that is. Le sigh…
And what an amazing span of two seasons to watch in 3 days. They are the “Aiden Episodes” as I like to call them. That oh so perfectly perfect guy that gets his heart broken by Carrie. I seriously just heart that character so. Although you can’t blame a girl for being scared of the big to-do. He really is just so incredibly charming, rugged and sexy. Double Le sigh…
And then the season ends with the oh so great episode with Big leaving and the “Moon River” song and the goodbye ol’ New York.
It really is funny how nostalgic I’ve become for New York lately. It really makes absolutely no sense, for seriously. I visited the place twice and kind of didn’t like it at all. I guess being in the City like straight off Time Square in a shifty hotel doesn’t show it off in its best light but I don’t know… Lately, I just think maybe I should give it a second look. Because as I watch the love Carrie has for her City, and when I sit at my sisters’ computer at 8am watching the Today Show sipping coffee out of my moms I <3 NY mug, I can’t help but think, wow I want to be there. And as I sip hazelnut coffee out of my mug on Sunday morning watching the morning show, reading the Sunday New York Times, I feel connected to something greater than me.
And although I’m having a revisited flirtation with New York at the moment, I’m waiting to give my heart to London. Because even though I’ve seen pictures and movies and read about you in books, I just really can’t wait to see you for myself. I think it really might be love.
~hm~
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