Some things...

I've had quite the lovely weekend. My insomnia really came back with a vengeance and not a sleepy time tea, benadryl, or tylenol pm could ease it. Oh well. I guess I really do need to get my ambien scrip filled again. I just hate that I'm gonna have to pay a damn $30 co-pay to get a $10 refill. BUT, that is only a very teeny tiny annoyance as I'm beyond grateful for my health care benefits.

As is always the case with my insomnia, I am feeling extra happy and optimistic and connected and just wonderful. I feel like I can take on the world and do all the things I always say I'm gonna do and still have yet to do them. I always try and chase this insomnia high and act upon all the great ideas I think I'm having. But without fail my mood levels even out and I go back to plain ol' me that isn't so manic happy and optimistic. But we'll see, maybe this time is the time. I'm gonna try to keep on the up and up and try to pin down the things that I want to accomplish that will make my journey to my ideal happy future a reality.

Does that last sentence even make any sense? It sort of makes sense in my head, but...I can't really trust everything that I think is brilliant in my head.

What I mean to say is that I want to finally start doing all the things that will make my future more attainable. I want to take a screenwriting class, start writing down my ideas, start filming short movies with my sisters and friends in our very limited free time. I want to keep up a gym regimen to help with the happy brain endorphins that'll make me not so depressed and pessimistic. I want to do all the things that I know will make my happy.

So, here we go! Lets do this thing. :)

The lovely Jamie drew this for me. And I fell even more in love with her.

~HM~ 

InZombia

Seriously, this insomnia thing is quite ridiculous.

Actually it's really past the point of ridiculous. I think it really is just a part of my natural sleep/life cycle and maybe I should just learn to love and accept it, you know? The only part that has me thinking that I really should get it checked out again (for the 3rd time) is that long term insomnia really isn't that great for your health. I have this li'l sleep book and a Science News mag from the library all about sleep and I really should make an effort and follow some of their suggestions on treating insomnia. I need to stop sitting up with my computer to the last drop of night before bed. I need to give myself a chance to wind down before hitting the sheets. I really need to make that sleepy time iPod mix so that I can stop listening to Bad Romance and getting all pumped up and ready to go dancin'. I need to incorporate lovely yoga back into my life. I should go to the gym after work to burn some energy before coming home and zoning out in from of the TV for 4 hours. I should take a page from my Mom and read a book before bed and lull myself to sleep. I should. I should. I should. But do I? Obviously not.

But I'm determined to try and start all this good stuff. It's almost a new year, might as well end 2009 on a good note of "A" for affort. :) Yup.

On the plus side of my insomnia, I do get this ridiculous burst of energy and feel like I can conquer the world. I'm such a hot mess to be around with my caffeine like giddiness for life. I have all these grand ideas for screenplays and magazine interviews I'll one day give. I get very optimistic for life and the future of humankind. I actually give a damn about the life I have to live ahead. I start to think that if we actually are all doomed to continue on the decline of human progress, and that if we truly have reached the precipice for human achievement then at least I'll give it my all and have a great time laughing and living with friends and family. And I think then maybe it was all worth it.

So yeah, insomnia. My friend and foe. Like I've said before, it really is fun and cute and productive for the first 2 or 3 nights, but by the 4th day I turn into ZombieHeather and eat brains. I mean, I pretty much just stare off into the distance and space out and get chills and say weird things that pop into my head that make me sound drunk and then I take some benadryl and pass out madstyle. Then the next day I wake up and go back to my "normal" sleep hours of most humans between 6-8 hours a night. And about 3 weeks later it starts all over again.

The one really sad/kinda funny thing about this whole insomnia thing is that now when ever a friend, family member or coworker has sleep trouble they always think of me! I always tell them to text me cause I know what it's like to be wide awake in bed and kinda wishing you had someone to chat with. Fortunately I have a good buddy who is almost always game for a few random texts at 2am. Every body needs an insomnia, middle of the night text buddy. Yup.

So, yet again, I've blogged about insomnia. Lame. I originally came here to tell you all about my weekend with the lovely Jami. We have one more day of awesome hanging out left, so I'll be sure to post some photos and words about the adventures we've had.

Peace and applesauce.

~HM~